Childhood and Developmental Trauma to Blame for your Food-Related Issues?

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱-𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖. ⁠⁠⁣

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Hello beautiful humans! Today, we’re hopping on the time machine and 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭. ⁣

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But first, some general background about the concepts of 𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐘 and 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓:⁣

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As many of you already know and have learned, 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲, a fundamental, top need (if we are referencing Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs). ⁣

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BUT it is not the ONLY form of safety. Rather, it is actually mainly a 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 of safety.⁣

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As we now learned and established, though, humans also have 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 that we cannot live without. Well, we “can” but we will simply be “𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨” and not truly “𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨”.⁣

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Now to the 𝗕𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘁: ⁣

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For many of us, during our younger years, 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐟. It was the only form of it available to us when we were growing up.⁣

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How so?⁣

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Perhaps your parents, caregivers, guardians were 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 and all they had time for was to come home late at night, load the fridge and pantry for you so you had something to eat, and start again the next day. ⁣

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Perhaps there wasn’t “time” for that much needed parental 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈, love, play, or 𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 between a child and caregiver due to many reasons unique to each of our upbringings. ⁣

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OR.⁣

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Perhaps you always had “𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵” food in the house because no one was available to cook or it was the only thing you could afford at the time. (And we know how truly ‘comforting’ and 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 comfort food is).⁣

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Food became the only “thing” you could turn to when you felt alone, 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲, upset, angry, happy. Food was the only “𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.”⁣

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The house was empty but the cupboards were full. ⁣

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OR.⁣

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Perhaps your caregiver used 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 in times of stress, sadness, anger, etc. This could have looked like your mom, dad, grandmother…giving you a lollipop or making your favorite Mac & Cheese or buying you that Debbie’s brownie when you were feeling down. ⁣

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OR.⁣

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Perhaps food was the established “𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅/𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕” system in your household. Maybe your parents/primary caregiver 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 with the above when you got an “A” in that math class or got praised by your teacher or washed the dishes when asked. Similarly, perhaps they used 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 for 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 you. ⁣

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𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭 -> 𝘋𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳.⁣

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𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘥 -> 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘢.⁣

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As a young child, you didn’t pay much attention to all this and just learned that that is a part of life. That it's “𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭.” You believed that this was what parents were for - to feed and clothe you. So, it makes TOTAL sense that your 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝. ⁣

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𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝘂𝗹𝘁!⁣

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You didn’t learn what ACTUAL nourishment, love, connection, safety, confidence, care, etc. embodied. Rather, you were exemplified a 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐄 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. The only way you were given them is through food. Therefore, you took that with you into adulthood and now your only 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 is food. Your 𝘳𝘦𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥/𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 system for yourself is ALSO food.⁣

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So,⁣

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𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱 & 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 & 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.⁣

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Your 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 is your self-induced “𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘬” for ‘𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈’. For doing something “𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨”. For missing the deadline. For being “𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐲.” ⁣

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𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱 (symbolism for love, safety, care, comfort, etc.) because you were a “𝘯𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺” girl/boy.⁣

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𝘞𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮? ⁣

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𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮…𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘖𝘞 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 “𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏” 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘵.⁣

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Although the problem is not your fault and not your wrongdoing, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬.⁣

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𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹. ⁣

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To recover from 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, you must first 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞; and learn to welcome the TRUE forms of it your mind and body are craving for and have missed out on. ⁣

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You must recognize that 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 “𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈.”⁣

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You need to understand that the 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 & 𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 your body requires is 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝.⁣

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Food is MORE than that.⁣

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YOU 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 more than that. ⁣

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You 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 more than that.⁣

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You must be able to 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 and recognize its 𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 in order to truly nourish yourself. ⁣

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In other words,⁣

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To recover from 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, we must be willing to go beyond the food itself to discover the presence of the real, 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 (once you’ve gathered that it’s not biological) that underlies the urge to 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭.⁣

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With 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 behavior, 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞/𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭, but only symbolize those real needs and desires when we are engaged in ‘𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨’. ⁣

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During these episodes is the perfect time to look for 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 and 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 in your body and mind the real hunger is, because this is the moment in which it gets presented to us in its symbolic form. ⁣

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𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀. They exist for a reason. Our body is screaming for us to listen to it through these behaviors. Unless you LISTEN and find that root cause, find that NEED that is missing in the moment, that disordered behavior will continue. ⁣

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By simply eliminating certain foods or striving to restrict our behavior, we 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍 the true meanings and symbols & thus never get to the 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞.⁣

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Remember, in those moments of emotional eating, restricting, binging, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. ⁣

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In those moments, your 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 is coming to the surface from your subconscious. It is knocking on the door.⁣

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So 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞, as you would your own child. After-all, it is little YOU. An innocent child. ⁣

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By 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐮𝐩 and attributing everything to “𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓”, you are not compassionately giving voice to your inner child. You are not allowing him/her to awaken and demonstrate what he/she actually needs and wants.⁣

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𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗕𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.⁣

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So please, 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧.⁣

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Stay 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬.⁣

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𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭.⁣

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𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞. ⁣

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Can you relate to these examples? Comment  if this resonated with you and/or gave you something to think about. ⁣

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